I have been skeptical of the institution of marriage since a long time, even before starting on this incredible journey that companionship has been for me. For some reason I had an impression that many people got married just to be like everybody, not because they genuinely loved the person they were marrying. It appeared more like a social custom that we don’t give much thought about. Associating marriage and love seemed one big lie to me, and the both of them together, while it was not an impossible occurrence, seemed to be the exception, not the norm.
Nowadays, cynical people could say that marriage is an economic sector in itself: there is a whole industry that is specializing in wedding receptions, invitations and clothing, not to forget travel agents who sell luxurious honeymoons. A few years later, another industry benefits from marriage: the whole branch of law that specializes in divorce.
The majority of feminists claim that prostitution must be eradicated because some women are forced into it and because violence occurs within it. However, the same thing can be said about marriage, and those same ladies rarely, if ever, criticize its existence.
In her essay titled Marriage and Love, Emma Goldman echoes a lot of my feelings. Even though it was written in a completely different era, I think that a lot of what she explains still applies today. That’s what makes a quality writing: it stands the test of time. The five-page essay simply explains how our social roles affect us in the institution of marriage and why it is very hard to break free from it. She claims that because of marriage, both man and woman alienate themselves and end up being alien to each other, in spite of living so close.
Marriage and love was first published in Goldman’s first writing Anarchism and Other Essays in 1911. A few years later, before she was expelled from the United States, J. Edgar Hoover called her “one of the most dangerous anarchists in America”. Even though Emma Goldman is considered a feminist by many, there is no misogyny in her writing, and I find that refreshing.
Read Marriage and love HERE.
Interesting points.
But many of the problems found in marriage could simply be a form self-fulfilling prophecy, too.
“You would not seek me if you had not found me.” — Sartre